The Vicar's Dog
A sudden disappearance of the Vicar's chihuahua pet, Collar, within a sub-Saharan community put the faith of the missionaries and the natives alike to the test. Vicar's Dog is a satirical look at the relationship between the natives of an African settlement and the foreign God.
The Faithful Temptation
Matthew did not intend to get deeply involved until it was too late to retract his emotions. Abike’s body curves were unwittingly alluring to Matthew, and it was not just for the weakness of the soul that he was embroiled in the ungodly lusts for a member of his Sunday school.
“Hey, Mr Matthew, cheer up! It’s not all that bad.” Demola was certain he could help.
“You cannot understand it, my brother…” Matthew explained further.
The young British administrative staff would watch Abike through the windows of his cottage till she was out of vision from all probable positions. Matthew, 26 years of age, was the youngest among the administrative support staff for the missionary team in Utte town. He was particularly favoured by the opportunity to serve in the House of the Lord and would not trade anything for such a heavenly blessing. He had recently begun to doubt his faith.
Abike was among the promising early converts by the Parish.
Even as Matthew had vehemently prayed over the temptation, Abike’s constant presence and resolute devotion to the ‘good news’ made it tougher for Matthew’s prayers to be effective. The proximity to Abike had left him struggling with his conscience. Abike was a volunteer church worker, helping with domestic cleaning and supply of potable water to the Mission Estate.The creaks from the Estate's wooden gates drew Matthew’s attention to the windows above his study desk. He saw Abike slowly push the gates apart. Behind her was Iya Audra, a
69 years old widower who was also a volunteer to the
Parish. Matthew leaned to the side of the windows and
positioned himself behind the curtains to get a clear peek.
He watched the two zealous volunteers till they split up by
the Mother Mary Fountain and set off to their various designated
duties for the day. Matthew prepared the work schedule, so
he knew where the volunteers would work for the day. Abike would work in his cottage.
Matthew stole another glimpse before dodging behind the
curtains. He pulled back carefully from the window to avoid being sighted until Abike knocked on his cottage door.
He smiled gently, not giving away his excitement as he
opened the door. “You came early today, Abike!"
He returned to his study table in the parlour, pretending he
had been busy reading from the scriptures before Abike knocked on the door.
“Yes, Pastor. We decided to come in early today."
“Oh! Why is that?"
“Iya Audra is assigned to clean the Padre’s study along with
her regular house cleaning. So, we thought it’s best to start early since it’s going to be a long day.” Abike walked past Matthew into the kitchen of the
one-bedroom house.
“You guys are massive blessings to the Mission.” Matthew masked his mischief. It had been a week since he had the opportunity to be alone with Abike in his cottage.
“Call it our widow’s mite!” Abike replied with excitement through the half-closed kitchen door.
“May the good Lord bless you both!"
Abike noticed that the desk in the sitting area was already polished, and the books tidily arranged. Matthew had cleaned the kitchen and the living room to create more time with Abike on what mattered to him more. Abike returned to the sitting room with a raffia broom and a mop for the floor. Before she could start to sweep, Matthew got up from his desk swiftly to take the cleaning tools from her.
“Don’t bother about sweeping or mopping the floor, Abike. I
have cleaned up the whole house already this morning."
“Pastor Matthew, why do you do the cleaning by yourself? Don’t you want me to help anymore?"
“Abike, you know that is not true. If anything, I would have
loved that you moved in with me."
“Ah, Pastor, that is not possible..."
“Stop calling me Pastor, Abike! I am not a pastor, I told you that I am only an administrative staff with the Parish."
“How would you want me to address you, Pastor?"
“Matthew! Just Mathew will do. Or you can call me Sweetheart
if you want."
“So, Mr Matthew, why did you clean the house by yourself?"
“Okay, let me explain."
“Alright, go on, Mr Sweetheart.” She teased.
“I only feel I should sometimes do the cleaning by myself.
Like today, I finished the Sunday school lessons preparation earlier."“That’s nice of you. Then, I will clean the bedroom. Or have
you cleaned that as well?"
“No, I haven’t, but we can..."
Abike sensed some intense flashes in her eyes. The house whirled around her head till she slumped. Matthew was quick to stop her from hitting the floor hard. He supported into the bedroom and sat her by the edge of the bed. Abike had thrown up on Matthew’s robe. She was so weak and could barely sit up by herself.
“Abike! Abike! Wake up. Please don’t close your eyes!"
Matthew sprinkled water on her face. That was the easiest recovery mode he could think of as he could not discern whether to pray or call out for help. He doubted if the prayer of a fornicator would be answered. In his confused state, he fidgeted into the bathroom and returned with a bucket of water which he emptied on Abike’s head. He rushed back to get more water.
When he returned to the room, Matthew found Abike sitting up on the bed.
“Eh, Abike! Are you alright?"
“Yes, I feel better. I don’t know what’s happening to me lately. I feel dizzy every morning when I wake up."
“Yes, you look frail. Do I take you to the district Dispensary?"
“Don’t bother, dear. I think I’ll be fine."
“Are you sure, Abike?"
“Probably so. I told Iya Audra about how I was feeling this morning. She suggested that morning sickness could be an early sign of pregnancy."
“Early signs of what?” Matthew exclaimed.
Assuming that Iya Audra's suggestion was correct, Matthew had reached the end of his career with the Parish because he knew how strongly the mission would react to fornication. The head of the Parish, Padre Benson, would let the hell loose. Padre Benson had zero tolerance for any form of iniquity. He believed sins are planned, perfected and executed by the reprobate.
Matthew knew what a scandal like fornication could mean to the
the integrity of the missionaries and the perceptions of the new converts in Utte township.
“Just leave it to me, Mr Matthew. Have faith in the gods that all will come to a happy ending.” Demola reassured him. The sixteen-year-old prince was a good friend of Matthew and the only son yet allowed Oba Asiko, the ruler of Utte, by the gods.
“But these gods of yours are different from our Lord, Demola. If only you can understand the meaning of a grave sin like fornication to the Parish."
“Mr Matthew, I believe your Lord and our gods report to the same being, Olodumare. He can surprise you.” Demola motivated him.
“Surprise me?”
“Yes, even the lesser gods can. I have been in the worst situation, but the sky didn’t fall.” Demola patted him on the back before jumping on his stallion and disappearing into the forest's path.
Matthew sat there on the rocks that littered the valleys of Allele Hills, looking agape into the empty sky. Would the Lord understand him or castigate him for his natural feelings?
The Confession
Vicar Gabriel Johnson eavesdropped through the opening in the confession room doors. He tapped the door and opened it gently to peek if there was a penitent with the Very Reverend Lucas. Inside a kiosk room at the end of the long room, Reverend Lucas had just begun a session. He knew someone had come into the chancel. The reverend father did not have to bother who it was. He signalled the entrant to hold up till he finished the session. Gabriel got the signal. He stepped into the large chamber and closed the door gently to wait by the side of the door.
Reverend Lucas did not doubt that whoever had access to the chancel area of the Cathedral must be a personage in the Cathedral. He was expecting the Abbess of the Cathedral, Julian, to see him after the morning confession session. She had probably arrived early. Julian was his favourite among the nuns in the Cathedral. She would do anything for the Very Reverend. Lucas found himself eager to get done with the contrite, who had been confessing the same sin every week in the past months.
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been three days since my last confession.” The pertinent began his confession.
“The Lord is listening, my child.” Reverend Lucas responded.
“I have sinned against my neighbour by partaking in that which belongs to him, Father."
“You have been confessing the same sin every week, son."
“Father, I tried to explain to her that our relationship is sinful. But she threatened to tell my wife!” He sounded sober.
“Take not thou, that which is thy neighbour’s.” Reverend Lucas was firm about the doctrine.
“I am weak, Father! Pray for me.” He sobbed.
“May the Lord strengthen your faith and guide you from
the iniquity of the flesh."
“Thank you, Father!” The contrite made the sign of the
crossbow and left the confession box.
Lucas sighed and turned around with a warm smile to welcome the
guest into the room. It was not Julian. Vicar Gabriel was
standing there with his head bowed. Reverend Lucas swore. “What had brought this miserable Vicar into the chancel at this time of the day.” He racked his brain.
He led Gabriel away from the chancel area to the verandas of the Cathedral. Gabriel followed with his hands behind the back. He had arrived at the Cathedral two weeks ago from the Mission headquarters in London. He was assigned to replace the priest of the ‘Parish Upon the Hill’ in Utte.
The church code of ethics required that the newly ordained priest must complete a two-week course on the cultural
values of the new environment. The Commonwealth of Nations
would not tolerate insolence attitudes toward any member state’s traditions. Gabriel had completed the training the previous week and was ready for the assigned project in Utte.
The Mission's success in the sub-Saharan region accelerated developments in the urban towns in sub-Saharan Africa. Abeokuta, the capital town of the Egba natives, was one of such. Commerce and trade flourished in this gateway town to the Nigeria capital city, Lagos. All British protectorate railroads led to the Lagos seaport through Abeokuta town. The Cathedral in Lagos was a beautiful landmark that edifice Marina, the cityscape of Lagos.
The rapid development of Abeokuta prompted the request by the other towns in the hinterland to request for missionaries’ presence in their communities. During a visit to Abeokuta, Oba Asiko, the traditional ruler of Utte, was fascinated by the architectural beauty of the Ake Cathedral.
"Can you imagine how beautiful that monumental edifice would look in Utte market centre?" He sought to reaffirm his
thoughts from one of his chiefs in the entourage.
"Kabiyesi, that will be the best thing to happen to Utte since the gods created Alale’s Hills." The chiefs are readymade flunkeys for the king.
Since there were no objections to the prudent foresight of Oba Asiko, he signed an agreement with the Christian Mission in Abeokuta to establish a parish in his kingdom.
“Vicar, Utte is quite a distance from Lagos. So, I will
advise that you leave early enough.” Reverend Lucas threw a
bait to divest the Vicar.
He was relieved that the pestering Vicar would soon leave for the designated parish. Helen, Vicar Gabriel’s wife, Helen joined them as they strolled through the widely spaced Ionian pillars on the Cathedral verandas.
“Yes, Father! I received a telegram from London to set off this morning.” He showed the telegram to Lucas.
“Brilliant! Your journey will be by train to the Ake-Cathedral in Abeokuta, from where you will be driven to Utte by car the following day."
“It is my delight, Reverend! My wife and I have plans to
tour Abeokuta's surroundings for a few days before we proceed to Utte. Probably visit the famous Olumo Rock."
"We also think to meet the monarch in Abeokuta during our stay in Abeokuta." Helen added.
“Brilliant! Abeokuta is the mission’s first success story in
this part of the world. I can send a message ahead for the
monarch to host you as soon as you arrive in Abeokuta."
“That would be appreciated. I heard the kingdom had their democratic system of governance in place long before the arrival of the British."
“Brilliant! In that case, no need to delay any further. I wish you and your wife a victorious souls-saving experience.” He made a sign across his shoulders and heart.
Helen waved at nuns passing by as they shifted to the sides along the wide stairway. She calculated in her head, there were at least twelve nuns to a priest at the Cathedral. As they stepped out of the foyer, a black Philip Morris sedan was already parked on the gravel by the lawn at the centre of the Cathedral driveway. The driver was waiting to take Gabriel and his wife to train the station.
A few workers at the Cathedral lined the lawn sides to applaud as the sedan rolled onto the busy marina highway. The sedan soon joined the long stretch of Eyingbeti, the Lagos city lagoon front. That was the city centre hot spot most Lagos residents would visit to swank with their newly purchased bicycles, shoes, clothing and haircuts. It was a place where somebody who knows someone who knows their family in the village would see them.
Gabriel and Helen reflected through the bustle of the lagoon front to the mission ahead of them. They were to expand the congregation base in the Utte community. Consolidate and build upon the great works set out by their predecessor, Padre T. J. Benson.